3:30 Pm
Yelena called the passport office and they told her the plastic card inside will not be done until Friday afternoon, I do not think that am not going home Saturday. (sob) So I may be here until Thursday, and Tom is so upset, he was counting on us being home this weekend, and now all we can do is wait and hope for the best.
6:30 PM
Yelena called and said we can get the passport tomorrow morning after all, so if we can get the doctors visit and paperwork before 12:30 tomorrow, there is a glimmer of hope that we can still get the visa. Tom called Congresswoman Giffords office and asked for their help in getting the visa in one day. They are contacting the consulate; our fingers are crossed.
December 14 2007--Day 37 in Ukraine
First thing in the morning, we went to the passport office and picked up Kara's passport, then rushed to Dr Yuri's office. It took longer to get there than we planned for, and when we left his office we knew it was too late to get to the consulate. We missed the 12:30 cut-off for the Visa by 30 minutes, Kara and I not going home tomorrow and I lost my return ticket home.
We got to go shopping on Andreevsky Street after Yelena took me on a tour of all the important sights in Kyiv. I loved seeing and hearing about Ukraine, and it got me thinking about how much I don't know about Arizona, shame on me! Yelena is leaving tomorrow and I am grateful that she took the time to let me do something fun, especially after the disappointment of missing the consulate visit. Truthfully getting there on time was a dream, but we tried, we really did.
Kara's Strawberry Matroshkas in her new room
After a Groundhog Day moment (stepped off the curb into a huge puddle of freezing cold water) I picked out the nesting dolls I longed to take home for Christmas presents. Yelena bargained with the women selling them and we got a great deal, I also found some beautiful shawls for my MIL, Julia and picked out one for myself at Yelena's insistence. She scolded me because I was not getting anything for myself, and I told her, "I am bringing a daughter home", and she smiled, "Of course, I was, but how about something made in Karina's country too". Both of us were getting tired of repeatedly hoisting up Kara, the snow suit was slippery and she slid down our sides over and over again. When we were almost done; Kara presented a smelly problem for us, so we schlepped back through the slushy snow to the SUV and I changed Kara. That was our cue to end our shopping trip, Yelena had things to do and Kara and I were getting tired and I was hungry, Karawasn't, she always has food in her bag, I make sure of that before we leave Vorzel, getting into the SUV could be an all day adventure! I never think to get something for myself besides my organic energy bars, and they are old and nasty by now.
Yelena came back to the room with us and I gave her the gift I brought with me, I hope she liked it, I also gave her a little money for her trip. I am going to miss her, but she is so excited to see her kids in America, so I am certain her thoughts are there already.
December 15, 2007--Day 38 in Ukraine
1:30 PM
I am trying to accept that I am not making my flight out of here today, that I am losing my Delta ticket, thank GOD that our grant paid for our round-trip tickets; because it hurts that we have to pay $2,500 for one way tickets to get me and Karina home. ( 2008 Turned out we could not combine credit cards to pay for our tickets, and our son Fred had to pay for them instead, we paid him back through another grant two months ago)
I have Kara's passport, the doctor’s report, and the translated papers, and I keep looking at them, thanking God I have them, amazed at how difficult it was to gather them. So technically we are all set for the embassy, but I am absurdly nervous that yet another thing will go wrong; trying to have a positive attitude when all this is happening is getting very difficult. I know there is nothing a bad attitude will fix, so I resist following that path, but I am heart sore and lonely, and so homesick I can’t stand it.
I cannot believe the bureaucratic machinations that go on here (or the fees to get things moving), and the fact that everything changes every few months because the people who set the policies get fired in that time and new people make new policies. I went into this thinking the $ for agency fees (they were reduced because we were adopting a child with special needs) we raised would cover all of the adoption related expenses, and all we would have to pay would be the cost to get to, eat, and to stay here. The reality was somewhat different once in Ukraine. It has been a constant battle and has made me feel helpless at times, manipulated at others, and sometimes very angry.
No way to deny that expedition fees greatly upset me, and I believe that by paying them I/we placed a burden on the next family who arrives here to adopt. I have read that people avoided paying the fees when they adopted, but they were also in Ukraine for 3-4 months or longer, and that was not a possibility for me/us.
The fallacy regarding Americans who adopt from Ukraine is; ALL AMERICANS ARE RICH; what most facilitators or officials do not realize is that many of us are just ordinary folk. We had to meet minimum financial requirements through USCIS to be allowed to adopt, but none of those show a well off family, they show a family supporting itself. We do not have boats, expensive cars, 4 homes, and go on expensive vacations. Yes, some people who are very well off do adopt, but many of us are not, my husband is a middle school teacher and I teach group fitness classes for heavens sake.
(2008 It seems taboo to discuss the fees that are part of international adoption in many countries. The fear seems to be that one of us big mouthed parents will ruin it for everyone else by saying something insulting and the country will no longer allow adoptions, but then again, America seems to use fear to control it people a lot, doesn't it.
Yelena and I had many discussions about these expedition fees and I told her quite often that I would gladly pay a fee if it went into government coffers and would help the people of Ukraine as a whole, especially the orphans, street children, and the elderly who were struggling so much. The thought that the money went into someones hands so they could buy Gucci boots, or an expensive coat, well, it kept me up nights, it truly did.)
1:30 pm
Karina and I are skipping lunch, she is sleeping and I am not hungry after eating a bunch of chocolate. Gotta love emotional eating...
She will be hungry when she wakes up, so I will feed her some banana and the jar of food we have left. That should help her to wait until dinner (hoping) we both ate a lot at breakfast at 9:30 and 1:30 is too soon to eat again.
Here are some pictures we took before she went down for her nap.
OK, I admit it, as the day moves slowly forward; I am more and more depressed I am still here. I thought this would be the latest I would be leaving for home, and now it looks like the 20th will be my travel date; all for the discounted rate of $2,500. We are flying through Austrian Air flight 7172 from Kyiv to Vienna, a shuttle will take us from there to our Washington DC connection, flight 93 Phoenix, where Tom will pick us up. We will leave the 20th, fly 18 hours, and arrive on the 20th. Moving back in time; I think I will cry when we finally get there.Yesterday Fred totaled his car; he is not hurt badly, but now he is without a car and a job, and it is just so unfair for him to be going through so much right now. He lent his father the money to get Kara and I home even though he doesn’t have an income coming in right now. He has done so much to help this adoption happen that I am not sure thank you will ever be enough. Kara had better know how special her big brother Fred is.
It is quiet in the room except for the sound of the fan on this laptop and the occasional snores coming from Kara. I can hear kids running overhead. I can’t believe how simple our lives have become here in Vorzel; and many people are helpful and kind to Kara and me.
Today we had to buy diapers and things for Kara and I parked the stroller against the wall and beside the stairs of our favorite market, the Chek Market. When I walked in with Kara, one of the men who are always at the door got the only basket out of 20 with a seat for an infant to sit in. The young blond who works there helped us with bananas and told the one with the glasses to load our things into a bag, then the one with the glasses picked up Karina (calling her Karinka) and putting her into the stroller while the young blond looked on smiling. I was so grateful for their kindness to us. When we got to the front door of the “resort” some folks held the door open for us too. It is small things sometimes that matter, and today I needed someone to be kind to me.After Kara wakes up; maybe we can take a walk for a while, it is too quiet in here. I know Yelena is leaving tomorrow, I miss her company. I never did get a picture of her, and yesterday she wore her mink coat, she looked stunning in it. All the ladies here own fur coats; they say it is the only way to stay warm in below zero temperatures. Yelena's is ecru, and very pretty, (I would have bought a black one if I lived here). Everywhere you look in downtown Kyiv there is a woman in fox, or mink, or some other fur. I would suppose animal rights activists would have a field day here. There are stray animals everywhere, but they are not vicious, they all have territories were they wait for folks to feed them, and I have been here long enough to recognize most that stay around here and the stores I shop at.
What I find interesting is the cats; they are shorter in body, tail and legs than American cats, they look so bizarre. They also live everywhere and wait for folks to feed them, and the children and adults pet and hug the animals. The websites in America warn us to get rabies shots before we come here because of all the strays, but only a couple seemed threatening, and the one just mock attacked my water when I was walking, actually belonged to someone; a woman who lives next to Chek Market. I suppose in the summer when bats and such are about, the dogs can get sick more often. I have not seen any wild animals except some birds, no foxes, wolves; or deer. Not even a rabbit; I wonder where they all are?
Kara and he boy cut, she looks so tiny to me in her pictures
Karina has been exploring our room, and she loves the bathroom; I have to keep the toilet closed. Believe me, she does not like having a bath and says Boo, boo, boo the entire time. Maybe she thinks it is time for her bath? She will have one tonight.
