Kara lost her first tooth

Can you see the space on the bottom, we went to The down Syndrome Connection's holiday party and yesterday and had the girls dressed in their cuter clothes, for pictures with Santa! When we parked I went over to get Kara out of her car seat and her tights were spotted with blood, she had it on her fingers and face too. My heart skipped a beat, I immediately began to look for reasons and saw the missing tooth. We had no idea it was loose, I figured she would be 6 before the first baby tooth would be replaced, seems really early!

Tom found the little rootless tooth on the seat of the car, we put it in a plastic bag. The tooth next to it is loose too, pretty soon she will have a huge window LOL. I could see her tongue playing with the area most of the day today, she is getting used to the feeling.

She fell asleep after we ate yesterday and did not see Santa, the party was during her nap time. The party was well attended but the room was packed, so we waited until everyone else had seen Santa before Tom and Terry (big brother) took Meghan and Amanda up there. Amanda accosted Santa; grabbing his beard and planting a smooch on him. Tom said she scratched him a little too, whoops. She does that when she gets scared.

I was in charge of the craft table yesterday, I prefer to be busy at a party, and I love crafting. Next year I hope to get something different for everyone to do, it has to be easy to make, and it is a challenge to find fun and inexpensive things.

Some new pictures-approaching our Gotcha Day anniversary!

Eating her blueberry walnut gluten free pancakes. She makes me laugh, she gets so mad when the food falls off the fork, she is a perfectionist! When we brought her home she put her hands behind her back and did not know how to chew solid foods, now look at her, she has come a long way!

She managed to get her piggie tail out in less than 10 minutes. Her hair is just awful, it gets so tangled, even with spray on conditioner.I try to put it in ponytails and she tugs on them until they come out, then walks around later on looking like a Rastafarian.

Today, 2 years ago, Tom and Meghan returned home from Ukraine, I was there alone for another 3 weeks without them. Seems so incredible that two years have gone by since then. I can vividly recall that walk to the dining hall, walking with my head down to find the patches of ground not covered in ice, the cold breeze on my face. Walking into the dining hall alone for the first time and seeing three place settings for us on the table and suddenly feeling very sad. The servers were wondering where Tom and Meghan had gone, asking me questions, I tried in my very bad Russian to tell them they went home to America. They did not understand me at all.

They served fried eggs that morning and when I saw them tears began to escape from my eyes; Tom longed for eggs the entire time we were there and the day he could not enjoy them, they served them. More than anything I was sad that I would have no one to talk to during the long days and nights. I did not feel very brave or strong that morning.

However, I could not wait to visit sweet Kara. I was reading through my adoption journal today and found this entry below: She lay with her head on my shoulder and her thumb in her mouth and I rocked her to sleep, she began to snore, and I lay my cheek on her soft hair and listened to her breath. My baby, my new daughter, thank you God, I have a new daughter. I did not want to put her down, but I knew I needed to leave, it was noon. So reluctantly I gave her to the staff and I left with tears in my eyes again. Sad and disappointed that once more I had to walk away from the orphanage without her."

That was written after our 10 day wait was over, each day I awoke thinking it would be the day she would leave the orphanage forever and each day there was another reason why she had to stay there.

Kara has changed in so many ways, just seeing her little face from two years ago, her little body, hips so tiny her pants, even leggings, slid off of her, her ribs sticking out. She was well cared for, in a good orphanage with good and plentiful food, but it was not a home with a mommy and daddy. Children need that contact, love and one on one affection to grow well.

I sent a picture of Kara with another family adopting from Vorzel (thank you Frank and Renee), wishing I could send the letter that was translated, but it was 8 months old and did not apply to who Kara is now. I want to tell her grandmother; she is loved here too. I will never forget seeing Kara's grandmother crying in the arms of the caregivers. It had to be so hard to let Kara go knowing she would never see her again. I wish she would have spoken to us, to me, so many PAP's have met the family of the children they adopted.

So many days I long to return to Vorzel, to see those familiar roads and to let Kara see them too, will she remember anything about her life there? I do not think so, since she was barely 3 when we brought her home. I would like to think she has some memories of her life before she came home with us, but how many of us remember anything about our first 3 years if our lives? I have pictures, and when she is older and wants to know, we can look at them together.

Our adoption anniversary approaches

Walking to the internet cafe in Kyiv, November 10, 2007

Two years ago we were waiting in Kyiv for news about where we would be staying, we knew we were going to Vorzel, but had no idea where that was. We were excited about meeting Kara, but so sad about losing the angel we came to Ukraine to adopt. While Tom and Meghan slept off jet lag, I wandered about the apartment holding Eva's picture and simultaneously praying that she would be OK and crying in pain and sorrow. Feeling terrible because I knew our doubts had contributed to us losing her. I did revisit our adoption last year, if you go to the November-December posts from 2008, you can read everything.

Adoption is a wonderful gift to the parents and children, but it is also full of stress, sometimes grief, and it teaches us, sometimes brutally, that nothing is certain until you are on that plane with your new child. From losing the little girl we first committed to adopting, to losing our second would be daughter in Ukraine, there is such heartache for some of us.

I know the first daughter of our hearts is loved by her new family, I know nothing else about her, the family made their blog private long ago. They suffered their own terrible losses before deciding to adopt, and I pray the family is finally happy and little Sanna is healthy.

I did not know when the SDA pulled our referral for Eva that she would get her family just a couple of months later, nor that they would be the perfect family for her. I will be forever grateful that circumstances led them to her, though they suffered heartbreak during their own adoption journey. It all seems so long ago, and we have moved past the pain for the most part, but this time of the year renews it a bit, as anniversaries of traumatic times often do.

Thankfully adoptions are seamless for most forever families, or as much as they can be, but for some of us, the road to bringing our children home is bumpy, winding, with blind turns and many forks in the road. Where there is grief and pain along the way, there is also tremendous joy and fulfillment when in the end you bring your new child home with you.



How is Kara today? She is a stinker, into everything, toddling around in her wide-stanced way, playing with dollies, loving to watch Disney movies, fond of thumb sucking and hugs. Nothing makes her happier than rough-housing with her brothers. She is not talking yet, but her communication device will help her get her thoughts and needs across. She loves playing with Meghan and pushing Amanda around. She is at her tyrannical three's stage, it seemingly lasts forever with kids who have that extra special chromosome, so we may have a few years of pouting, whining and temper tantrums. They are few and far between thank goodness. Most of the time she is giggling, playing and happy, very happy. Were she not home with us, she would be in the institution now, and who knows how long she would have had there.

I will never lose the wonder I feel that we get to be her parents, we love and cherish her dearly.

You never know who you will find surfing the net

http://www.ukraineorphans.net/id67.html I found Kara at this website, what a surprise, and for a good cause, please visit the site, maybe think about helping them with their mission.

Kara has been growing again, I don't know when, but she grew out of her size 3's and into 4's. Of course she is turning 5 really soon, so she should be a bigger girl right? :o)

We are getting very close to the day that we travelled to Ukraine to adopt, two years ago we left here November 7th to get to ur SDA appointment on the 9th. Seems like it was such a short time ago, I am in disbelief and I still long to return, some days I wish we could adopt from Ukraine again. Then we have those days where all three little gals are cranky, bickering, whining, and we are tripping over each other and I tell myself it could never happen again.

I know having Kara and Amanda is a bit of a miracle for us, I love them so much, but there are so many more children waiting for forever families, I suppose I am not alone in thinking one more would not be a hardship...but today I received a phone call from a person asking about homes for an adult woman with Down syndrome, her elderly parent's knew their days here were running short and they are worried about where she will go after they are gone. Though I am aware of group homes here for adults with developmental disabilities, I could not help for the valley (Phoenix area) and had to send the caller to someone who may know more than I.

It got me to thinking about our girls and their futures, of course what we want for all of them is to be as independent as possible. Marriage is not out of the question either, I save articles about couples with Down syndrome getting married, going to college, getting jobs, and living lives that are fulfilling, happy. It made me a little sad to hear of this adult woman who never left her parents home. Sadder still that her only sibling was unable to take her in once their parents were gone.

We have to be careful about living in the now and not thinking about the future when we adopt kids with developmental delays and special needs, sure we could adopt over and over again, but we will not be here forever. Our older children know we are counting on them to help their sisters in 30-40 years, but as this person that called said to me, you do not even know if your older children will still be alive when you pass, or if they will be physically, emotionally, or financially able to care for their sisters.

It gives me a lot to think about, plan for, pray for. My heart still longs to adopt again, but it will likely not happen.

Guess who has a birthday coming up

Oh yes, Kara is almost 5, I still think of her as 3, I know nearly two years have gone by since we saw her that first time in Vorzel, but it seems like only yesterday!

I was browsing through some websites and found a link to our blog here:

http://www.ukraineorphans.net/id67.html I am happy we are linked for something good and not bad. I firmly believe that international adoption gives everyone a chance for happiness, both the family the little one is coming into and the child. We have been blessed by 6 children born to us, and adopton was no less miraculous to me! I am so grateful we took that first step despite all the fears we had. It was not easy task, we had to struggle a few times, but everytime I look at Kara (and Amanda) I afeel so grateful their countries allowed them to become our daughters.

There is another little girl waiting for a forever family in Eastern Europe. This is Paula. This year we have agreed to serve as her Christmas Warriors, our goal is two-fold, to help raise money for her grant fund and to help people see her beautiful little face and ask about her; we want her to find her forever family.

We hope you will look for her Chip-in and donate towards her fund, our goal is $1,000.

Her information:

Born April 19, 2006

Many folks have been waiting for a beautiful, young Caucasian girl from a country where the cost is lower and the travel is easy. Here she is! Paula has sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. Main diagnosis: Down Syndrome. Inborn Cardiac Malformation - atrioventricular septum defect - cardiac insufficiency - condition after surgical treatment. Lagging behind in her development. Esotrohpia. Hypermetropia. Strabismus - condition after surgery.

2 trips, 5 days each
Approx cost only $19k!
NO UPPER AGE LIMIT
Single mothers may apply
Multiple children can be adopted together
Full medical info prior to official referral
Easy dossier, very few restrictions

Paula, has had some heart issues, but please do not let that stop you from considering her, so many of our angels come home after adoption and flourish.

Please add Paula to your prayers as well, that she stays healthy and finds her family very soon.

Do I complain too much?

Kara is driving me crazy, she does this wrong, and that wrong, and blah blah blah. I think I complain too much about my little girl. She is a terrible two dynamo and all I do is chase her all day from one precarious situation to another. So I vent about it, but I feel like in all that venting I rarely tell people how wonderful and funny she is too.

Homesick?

I finally realized I have been avoiding reading adoption blogs from Ukraine because they cause unbearable homesickness for me. I long to return to Vorzel, to walk the streets I walked for 6 weeks. I cannot explain it to myself, I am home this is my home here, but I miss Ukraine so much. I see the faces of the children in the orphanages when I visit the blogs and I want to hold them again, they crave the love and attention of a parent so much.

Will we ever get back there, how will we go? Does anyone else feel the same way about where they adopted their children from, that connection? I also loved Estonia, but was only there a short time, Ukraine is different.

Kara is learning to use sign language!

For almost two years Kara has struggled to communicate with us, she does not talk, and we have tried very hard to get her to embrace sign language, these past few weeks she has embraced it more. I am relieved, as her inability to let us know her wants and needs was causing temper tantrums.

Have I mentioned lately how much I adore her? She is such a sweet and cuddly little girl, has definite impulse control issues, but we are working on that. I have not reached a point where I feel like she has been our daughter forever, I still have very vivid images of her in my my mind being brought out to visit in the orphanage in Vorzel. I still marvel at the miracle of us finding her.

Here are some more new pictures of our beautiful little girl.

Kara thinks there is nothing better than a chair in the pool and a sock to play with...She has a fascination with socks, carries them around, holds them and rocks, I believe they may have been her only plaything during her long days in bed at the orphanage. She loved them the first day I brought her back to the Peremoga and she continues to 1 1/2 years later.

Kara raided the sock bag for this sock. LOL She can be found going through their daily. It is a Christmas sock! I don't suppose the match will be found, since it has been missing since Christmas, the sock fairy struck again.

Yepper, she is a thumb sucker. :o) My third of 8 children to do so.

Taken two days ago, Meghan insisted Kara wear that top LOL. Kara loves to see pictures of herself. She thinks this one is the best.

Kara loved her new dress, now if I can figure out a way to get her to wear shoes...

I have this in the other girls blogs, but it shows how sweet Kara can be.

We are still here

As our lives settle in to a routine and we are occupied with therapy visits and family life, I forget to post, or even come to Blogger. I suppose that is normal. Then I realised the last time I talked about Kara, she was not feeling well. She has been feeling good for a few weeks now, whoops.

Kara is now receiving speech therapy at home, I am hoping that the skills she is picking up will help her learn to communicate expressively, she does not do much of it. We know she is bright, so the huge speech delay is confusing. It also makes her act out, as she is frustrated that she cannot make her needs known.

She is a rascal, no doubt about it, into the terrible two stage with a vengeance and oh boy does she get into trouble. Her newest thing is to push her chair up to the counter and climb on it to get at the peanut butter. I caught her eating it with a huge spoon, peanut butter all over her hair and face. She will also eat butter, fruit, and anything she can get her hands on up there.

She is into hair pulling, pushing, and bullying Amanda, but for all that she is small; Amanda is no pushover, she lets Kara know she cannot be bullied. LOL

We have decided that neither Kara or Amanda will go to pre-school next year, it is too confusing to them, and there is no real need for it at this time. Bonding and learning to be part of a family is more important right now.

Kara is doing well despite some typical behavior issues. We did not expect her to be an angel, and she isn't. We do love her and she is a real and forever part of our family, and even after 1 1/2 years, we still cannot believe she is part of our family. We are so lucky!

Been a while

I realized I had not post to Kara's blog for a while, things have been busy and Kara is doing very well despite runny noses, rashes, and such. She and I are just having a rough spring, our entire family has been sick with flu's and strep. This too shall pass, I hope soon.

Kara was seen by a PT the end of March, FINALLY, after nearly a year of waiting for one to become available, The PT was an older woman, what we call old school (hey I am OLD too) and somewhat brusque though very professional. She believesKara will need weekly PT, and was surprised that she was not receiving it already. We are waiting for approval, not certain what is happening there, we have asked for a new SC, and are still waiting.

She had her IEP review last Monday; the IEP was uneventful with the exception of the PT and his attitude. I hear he is an amiable man, so it is me he does not like, how sad he made a judgement about me and found me lacking. :o(

I was not happy to be going because Kara has not been in school for two months, yes, you read it correctly, we have been so sick here that one illness is on the heels of another, and since Kara has a runny nose most of the time, they will not let her attend school. I truly believe Kara needs a tonsillectomy; none of my other kids has ever been a sickly as she. I want her to feel better, poor baby.

When I walked into the room for her IEP, I overheard the ST discussing Kara’s absences with the PT, a frown of disapproval on her usually contented face. They both looked sheepish when they saw me, I felt chagrined and it put me on the defensive, I took a deep breath and said a little prayer, this was for Kara, I needed to stay calm. Even when everyone on the IEP is amiable, it is rather stressful, but this one was not, the PT had issues with me for following doctor’s orders for Kara (against his advice). He also was very condescending explaining to me what the purpose ligaments and using scare tactics telling me Kara would be crippled if I did not heed what he was saying. At that point, I snapped at him for trying to scare me and overstating the risks. I trust her orthopedic doctor, and the PT who saw Kara last week for and evaluation did not believe the SMO’s were crucial at this point either. (I also asked the orthotistKara saw last week about her SMO's, they agreed, if the doctor feels she needs to walk without them FOR NOW, then that is what we should be doing) The PT inferred I was lying about the doctor telling me to put the SMO's away and to let Kara walk without shoes on. He quickly said “Not that I think you are lying….so he knew he had overstepped. He left before we were done, needing to attend another IEP. I was stewing about our conversation and needed to talk it through with DH Tom, I knew it would calm me down, and give a different perspective. I could not believe the PT thought I was lying about the SMO's, why in the world would I? It upsets me to think about it even now.

While we were wrapping up the IEP meeting, Tom called, the bike Eric made for him (bought all the pieces separately on EBay and in the bike shops in town) was stolen from his van while he was at work. It was a Quintana Roo, a very nice bike, and one he needed desperately, his old bike was a mess. Tom tries to ride to work when he can, it has been a challenge lately, but he kept the bike in his van because he thought it would be safe in there. Apparently anyone with a crowbar can break off the handle of our old Voyager and get in the van. It is an old van, insurance will not pay to fix the broken door, but our homeowners insurance should pay for a replacement of his bike. (minus the $250 deductible) that violation you feel when someone has broken in and taken something of yours, like a sucker punch, so cowardly. Even though the van was parked in the school parking lot, they will do nothing to compensate him for his loss; it is against their policy, period, it is not the first thing that has been stolen from him the 18 years he has been a teacher. I am grateful he was nowhere near when they broke in; I believe that someone who is heedless of the risk of discovery enough to steal something in the middle of the day would not hesitate to hurt my husband. He feels pretty badly that the gift our son made for him was taken though, I think that bothers him the most. Our homeowners insurance will cover most of the loss, thank goodness.

Kara was evaluated by a speech therapist for in home ST Monday morning and it was determined (not surprisingly) that she will need weekly speech in addition to what the school provides (not that she has been in preschool, she is not allowed with a runny nose...rules are rules). I am so excited about the speech therapy as she is not communicating verbally at all. I believe having to unlearn Russian-Ukrainian and learn English has made it very hard for her. She has a few signs, but poor sweetie needs something more.