Happy 9TH Birthday to Kara!!

Happy Birthday Kara

Our beautiful sweetheart, Kara turned 6 today!

OK, I give up, why does Kara love Coffee?

Kara attacks coffee cups with gusto, as soon as someone puts coffee down (Tom or Brian, I do not drink it) she is there is a flash, tipping the cup to her eager mouth, only to be thwarted by mom and dad. Kara and coffee does not seem like the best idea, we do not let them drink caffeinated beverages.

When we adopted Kara she was three, did they give toddlers coffee? Anyone know? It seems odd to me that an orphanage would give babies coffee, and the coffee Tom drank in Ukraine was STRONG!

She called me Mama

When Kara and I came home from Ukraine, she would often call me Mama, and then we adopted Amanda, and she seemed to get really depressed-sad, and she stopped making sounds altogether. The only time she vocalized was in the swimming pool, just babbling.

She has seemed so lost, and we have been frantically trying to figure out what happened. You know, that constant thought in your head "What is wrong with Kara?" "Is she OK?" Not that she is always sad, she isn't, but I think having a sister so soon after she came home was hard on her adjustment, though I do not regret adopting Amanda so soon afterwards, in hindsight I think parents should wait a year between adoption if at all possible.

Two days ago we were playing and she looked up at me and said Mama with a big smile. Those are the moments you just never forget, is Kara coming back?

I know with our girls that linear progression rarely occurs, so I do not believe she will begin speaking her mind anytime soon, but I do think that using sign language more and more and saying Mama does indicate that Kara is now ready to attempt expressive communication again.

Please pray that Kara can continue to improve in this area of her development, I know she has many things to say to us!

Kara and Meghan

Kara and Meghan have come a long way in their sisterly relationship. At first Meghan was a little jealous of all the attention Kara received, then Kara was jealous. I find it curious when I read blogs saying that kids with Trisomy 21 do not have these feelings, because they are just children, and children do get jealous, they also get angry, throw fits, and act like stinkers, like any other child does.

We have had our share of hair pulling (Kara to Meghan) or Kara being pushed to the floor by Meghan when she was an unsteady new walker. So when I see them holding hands and walking together, or playing sweetly with one another, it shows me that they are learning to be more gentle with one another, and that they love each other.

The last day of December I found the house grew suddenly quiet, this is never a good sign with small children, I glanced over and saw these two sweet girls napping together. I see them cuddling like this more and more, not so much with Amanda, who does not like to be cuddled, but they do allow her to play with them now, so that is a good sign!

My girls love each other, and they find comfort in each others company. When I see images like this I know that everything we went through to get Kara (and Amanda) home was worth it, she is loved here, she has a family here. If she were still in Ukraine, her new home would be the mental institution, I believe the one she would have been transferred to is a better one, but I also saw the effect it had on a very special boy who had to live there before his forever family adopted him. The sparkle left his eyes, and I barely recognized him when I saw pictures of him, it is coming back, I see it in his pictures with his new family, but he changed so much in that institution.

I think God wanted Kara here, in our crazy and imperfect family, we may not be perfect, but we do love one another deeply.

There are thousands of children like Kara and Amanda waiting for forever families, if adoption is in your heart, please go to http://www.reecesrainbow.com/newsite/waitingchildgallery.html and see where your heart leads you.

Kara lost her first tooth

Can you see the space on the bottom, we went to The down Syndrome Connection's holiday party and yesterday and had the girls dressed in their cuter clothes, for pictures with Santa! When we parked I went over to get Kara out of her car seat and her tights were spotted with blood, she had it on her fingers and face too. My heart skipped a beat, I immediately began to look for reasons and saw the missing tooth. We had no idea it was loose, I figured she would be 6 before the first baby tooth would be replaced, seems really early!

Tom found the little rootless tooth on the seat of the car, we put it in a plastic bag. The tooth next to it is loose too, pretty soon she will have a huge window LOL. I could see her tongue playing with the area most of the day today, she is getting used to the feeling.

She fell asleep after we ate yesterday and did not see Santa, the party was during her nap time. The party was well attended but the room was packed, so we waited until everyone else had seen Santa before Tom and Terry (big brother) took Meghan and Amanda up there. Amanda accosted Santa; grabbing his beard and planting a smooch on him. Tom said she scratched him a little too, whoops. She does that when she gets scared.

I was in charge of the craft table yesterday, I prefer to be busy at a party, and I love crafting. Next year I hope to get something different for everyone to do, it has to be easy to make, and it is a challenge to find fun and inexpensive things.

Some new pictures-approaching our Gotcha Day anniversary!

Eating her blueberry walnut gluten free pancakes. She makes me laugh, she gets so mad when the food falls off the fork, she is a perfectionist! When we brought her home she put her hands behind her back and did not know how to chew solid foods, now look at her, she has come a long way!

She managed to get her piggie tail out in less than 10 minutes. Her hair is just awful, it gets so tangled, even with spray on conditioner.I try to put it in ponytails and she tugs on them until they come out, then walks around later on looking like a Rastafarian.

Today, 2 years ago, Tom and Meghan returned home from Ukraine, I was there alone for another 3 weeks without them. Seems so incredible that two years have gone by since then. I can vividly recall that walk to the dining hall, walking with my head down to find the patches of ground not covered in ice, the cold breeze on my face. Walking into the dining hall alone for the first time and seeing three place settings for us on the table and suddenly feeling very sad. The servers were wondering where Tom and Meghan had gone, asking me questions, I tried in my very bad Russian to tell them they went home to America. They did not understand me at all.

They served fried eggs that morning and when I saw them tears began to escape from my eyes; Tom longed for eggs the entire time we were there and the day he could not enjoy them, they served them. More than anything I was sad that I would have no one to talk to during the long days and nights. I did not feel very brave or strong that morning.

However, I could not wait to visit sweet Kara. I was reading through my adoption journal today and found this entry below: She lay with her head on my shoulder and her thumb in her mouth and I rocked her to sleep, she began to snore, and I lay my cheek on her soft hair and listened to her breath. My baby, my new daughter, thank you God, I have a new daughter. I did not want to put her down, but I knew I needed to leave, it was noon. So reluctantly I gave her to the staff and I left with tears in my eyes again. Sad and disappointed that once more I had to walk away from the orphanage without her."

That was written after our 10 day wait was over, each day I awoke thinking it would be the day she would leave the orphanage forever and each day there was another reason why she had to stay there.

Kara has changed in so many ways, just seeing her little face from two years ago, her little body, hips so tiny her pants, even leggings, slid off of her, her ribs sticking out. She was well cared for, in a good orphanage with good and plentiful food, but it was not a home with a mommy and daddy. Children need that contact, love and one on one affection to grow well.

I sent a picture of Kara with another family adopting from Vorzel (thank you Frank and Renee), wishing I could send the letter that was translated, but it was 8 months old and did not apply to who Kara is now. I want to tell her grandmother; she is loved here too. I will never forget seeing Kara's grandmother crying in the arms of the caregivers. It had to be so hard to let Kara go knowing she would never see her again. I wish she would have spoken to us, to me, so many PAP's have met the family of the children they adopted.

So many days I long to return to Vorzel, to see those familiar roads and to let Kara see them too, will she remember anything about her life there? I do not think so, since she was barely 3 when we brought her home. I would like to think she has some memories of her life before she came home with us, but how many of us remember anything about our first 3 years if our lives? I have pictures, and when she is older and wants to know, we can look at them together.

Our adoption anniversary approaches

Walking to the internet cafe in Kyiv, November 10, 2007

Two years ago we were waiting in Kyiv for news about where we would be staying, we knew we were going to Vorzel, but had no idea where that was. We were excited about meeting Kara, but so sad about losing the angel we came to Ukraine to adopt. While Tom and Meghan slept off jet lag, I wandered about the apartment holding Eva's picture and simultaneously praying that she would be OK and crying in pain and sorrow. Feeling terrible because I knew our doubts had contributed to us losing her. I did revisit our adoption last year, if you go to the November-December posts from 2008, you can read everything.

Adoption is a wonderful gift to the parents and children, but it is also full of stress, sometimes grief, and it teaches us, sometimes brutally, that nothing is certain until you are on that plane with your new child. From losing the little girl we first committed to adopting, to losing our second would be daughter in Ukraine, there is such heartache for some of us.

I know the first daughter of our hearts is loved by her new family, I know nothing else about her, the family made their blog private long ago. They suffered their own terrible losses before deciding to adopt, and I pray the family is finally happy and little Sanna is healthy.

I did not know when the SDA pulled our referral for Eva that she would get her family just a couple of months later, nor that they would be the perfect family for her. I will be forever grateful that circumstances led them to her, though they suffered heartbreak during their own adoption journey. It all seems so long ago, and we have moved past the pain for the most part, but this time of the year renews it a bit, as anniversaries of traumatic times often do.

Thankfully adoptions are seamless for most forever families, or as much as they can be, but for some of us, the road to bringing our children home is bumpy, winding, with blind turns and many forks in the road. Where there is grief and pain along the way, there is also tremendous joy and fulfillment when in the end you bring your new child home with you.



How is Kara today? She is a stinker, into everything, toddling around in her wide-stanced way, playing with dollies, loving to watch Disney movies, fond of thumb sucking and hugs. Nothing makes her happier than rough-housing with her brothers. She is not talking yet, but her communication device will help her get her thoughts and needs across. She loves playing with Meghan and pushing Amanda around. She is at her tyrannical three's stage, it seemingly lasts forever with kids who have that extra special chromosome, so we may have a few years of pouting, whining and temper tantrums. They are few and far between thank goodness. Most of the time she is giggling, playing and happy, very happy. Were she not home with us, she would be in the institution now, and who knows how long she would have had there.

I will never lose the wonder I feel that we get to be her parents, we love and cherish her dearly.

You never know who you will find surfing the net

http://www.ukraineorphans.net/id67.html I found Kara at this website, what a surprise, and for a good cause, please visit the site, maybe think about helping them with their mission.

Kara has been growing again, I don't know when, but she grew out of her size 3's and into 4's. Of course she is turning 5 really soon, so she should be a bigger girl right? :o)

We are getting very close to the day that we travelled to Ukraine to adopt, two years ago we left here November 7th to get to ur SDA appointment on the 9th. Seems like it was such a short time ago, I am in disbelief and I still long to return, some days I wish we could adopt from Ukraine again. Then we have those days where all three little gals are cranky, bickering, whining, and we are tripping over each other and I tell myself it could never happen again.

I know having Kara and Amanda is a bit of a miracle for us, I love them so much, but there are so many more children waiting for forever families, I suppose I am not alone in thinking one more would not be a hardship...but today I received a phone call from a person asking about homes for an adult woman with Down syndrome, her elderly parent's knew their days here were running short and they are worried about where she will go after they are gone. Though I am aware of group homes here for adults with developmental disabilities, I could not help for the valley (Phoenix area) and had to send the caller to someone who may know more than I.

It got me to thinking about our girls and their futures, of course what we want for all of them is to be as independent as possible. Marriage is not out of the question either, I save articles about couples with Down syndrome getting married, going to college, getting jobs, and living lives that are fulfilling, happy. It made me a little sad to hear of this adult woman who never left her parents home. Sadder still that her only sibling was unable to take her in once their parents were gone.

We have to be careful about living in the now and not thinking about the future when we adopt kids with developmental delays and special needs, sure we could adopt over and over again, but we will not be here forever. Our older children know we are counting on them to help their sisters in 30-40 years, but as this person that called said to me, you do not even know if your older children will still be alive when you pass, or if they will be physically, emotionally, or financially able to care for their sisters.

It gives me a lot to think about, plan for, pray for. My heart still longs to adopt again, but it will likely not happen.

Guess who has a birthday coming up

Oh yes, Kara is almost 5, I still think of her as 3, I know nearly two years have gone by since we saw her that first time in Vorzel, but it seems like only yesterday!

I was browsing through some websites and found a link to our blog here:

http://www.ukraineorphans.net/id67.html I am happy we are linked for something good and not bad. I firmly believe that international adoption gives everyone a chance for happiness, both the family the little one is coming into and the child. We have been blessed by 6 children born to us, and adopton was no less miraculous to me! I am so grateful we took that first step despite all the fears we had. It was not easy task, we had to struggle a few times, but everytime I look at Kara (and Amanda) I afeel so grateful their countries allowed them to become our daughters.

There is another little girl waiting for a forever family in Eastern Europe. This is Paula. This year we have agreed to serve as her Christmas Warriors, our goal is two-fold, to help raise money for her grant fund and to help people see her beautiful little face and ask about her; we want her to find her forever family.

We hope you will look for her Chip-in and donate towards her fund, our goal is $1,000.

Her information:

Born April 19, 2006

Many folks have been waiting for a beautiful, young Caucasian girl from a country where the cost is lower and the travel is easy. Here she is! Paula has sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. Main diagnosis: Down Syndrome. Inborn Cardiac Malformation - atrioventricular septum defect - cardiac insufficiency - condition after surgical treatment. Lagging behind in her development. Esotrohpia. Hypermetropia. Strabismus - condition after surgery.

2 trips, 5 days each
Approx cost only $19k!
NO UPPER AGE LIMIT
Single mothers may apply
Multiple children can be adopted together
Full medical info prior to official referral
Easy dossier, very few restrictions

Paula, has had some heart issues, but please do not let that stop you from considering her, so many of our angels come home after adoption and flourish.

Please add Paula to your prayers as well, that she stays healthy and finds her family very soon.