2007 November 18.19.and 20th

On the 18th we visited Kara and spent the evening watching TV with her, she would not sit away from it, so we gave in and sat with her.

She was so enthralled with the TV, she did not turn to me as I clicked picture after picture. Truth be told, we wished they would not leave the TV on when we came over, it was so hard to bond with Kara when her attention was elsewhere.

I don't think Tom minded so much, she loved sitting with him, and he got to cuddle with her.

Her mouth tone has improved so much, I remember wondering how much work it would be to get her to stop sitting with her mouth hanging open. As soon as she was fed sitting up and drinking from a straw, her tongue stayed where it was supposed to. :o)

Kara's thumb sucking was not tolerated well with the orphanage staff, they were always pulling her hand out of her mouth, but I was glad to see she could sooth herself this way.

Our morning visit
It was so cold on the 19th, we hunkered down at our room, only going to eat. Yelena came by, she was dressed so nice, it was our birthday, yes both hers and mine, and she brought me a present. I felt badly because there was nothing in Vorzel I could have bought for her.

I loved my gift, but I felt bad I had nothing for her.

Our ice sculpture, this was right outside our window and it grew and grew. It was so much prettier than I could capture with my camera. The ice formed on a vine.

The morning of the 20th, we went to Irpen and searched for an Internet connection, Yelena asked so many people where we could go, and none really knew. She finally asked a cab driver, and they told her where it was. (we learned that they always knew where to go, Yelena asked them for directions often)

We went to the post office and paid a a dollar or so to use the Internet. There were some young folks in there and Yelena seemed to be in a huge hurry and she paid them to leave so Tom could use the computer.

After he had been in 10 minutes or so, Yelena became very agitated, she kept telling me to rush him, she needed to take her MIL something...I will just confess; Tom and Yelena did not get along, they constantly frustrated me with their bickering, and no matter what Tom said, it was misconstrued by Yelena, and he was upset with her and vice-versa. The tension was making me feel ill and keeping me awake at night, and I resented the both of them for their silly behavior. And NO, I was not perfect either. I do not think any of us behaved well that week. I think we were all nervous about the court date, hoping and praying we could get in ASAP.

I finally got my turn to use the computer, I updated the blog with two pictures and a quick note, and we left. Yelena seemed so nervous about us using the computer, it was odd and unsettling.

What was even more confusing was the next thing that happened; instead of going back to Vorzel like we expected, Yelena said we should eat at a restaurant. Tom and I looked askance at one another, and I give him credit for not getting angry, he had work he needed to do on the computer, and she rushed him off of it and he was pretty PO'd, but then she wanted to sit down for a leisurely lunch?

We did have some good food, but Meghan soon presented a huge problem, she had messed her pants, and needed to be changed, She had diarrhea and it was everywhere. It was the first of three days of her upset stomach.

Yelena paid a the equivalent of 10 cents and Meghan and I went into the restroom where I changed her out of her clothes, removed her tights and pants, she had a dress on. Thankfully I had a plastic bag with me, I always had one in my purse to use when we shopped, you had to pay for bags there. We left right after that, Tom carried Meghan into the room quickly and I walked back alone.

We were both upset that morning, the mixed messages, where they cultural, or deliberate? All I knew was my husband was not treated well, my daughter was not treated well, and my attitude was pretty bad. My temper was simmering and I felt ready to explode, but it would do no good to say a word, and instead of either of us saying something to our agency or to our team in Ukraine, we bickered with one another.

Neither of us felt that we were treated well, and we were hoping beyond hope for a quick court date. While Yelena seemed to like me, her dislike of my family was hard for me to reconcile. I cannot explain well enough how it made me feel, betrayed and confused, protective and annoyed, and SCARED, what kind of games were being played here?

Truth be told, I figured it was the the price we were paying for having doubts about Daria and losing her referral. I figured if we had to endure the treatment we were getting because of that, then so be it. Was that rational, maybe not, I guess you would need to be in our place.

We were so happy to see Kara that evening, we loved playing with her, but we were very nervous about our court date, if we did not get in that week, we would have to return home and come back a month later, when the judge came back from her vacation. We really had no other options, I did a lot of praying that week, I kept praying for patience, and God kept giving me reasons to be patient, I learned the hard way to never pray for patience....

Meghan continued to feel left out where Kara was concerned, so we made sure she got equal attention.

You could tell she was beginning to like Kara, but jealousy colors everything, and it was hard for her, confusing.

Tom talking to Meghan, she kept telling him she wanted to hold Kara.

Kara however, did not want to be held by her new sister and slid down to get away.

Meghan decided to leave both Tom and Kara alone, and I snapped her picture.

Meghan decided the rocking worm looked like fun, the staff brought it out for her, and Kara climbed on too, after all, she felt it was hers.

She got Meghan off and Meghan climbed behind her and Kara slid her bottom back and pushed Meghan onto the floor. Kara was laughing, Meghan was crying, and Meghan came to sit with me. Kara was a lot more rough than we allowed Meghan to be, we do not tolerate hitting in our hime.

Kara rocked for a while and then decided it was not fun without her sister.

She looked around for Meghan, and then climbed off to sit with daddy.

She and Tom were bonding more and more each day. I encouraged him to spend a lot of time with her, he was leaving in 8 days, and I knew I would be there a while longer and have her to myself. I actually was looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. Me in Vorzel all alone? What would I do?

Our walk back to the room, we were both tickled to see a mom pulling her toddler on a sled. The older woman was not pleased when she saw our camera. It was getting to me too, the same dour expression on face after face in Ukraine, I hungered for a smiling face, a friendly person, and I was feeling very homesick.